Previously on ALL OR NOTHING

·         Sabrina began her travels home to Elk City, Oklahoma, but first made a stop to see her mother in prison. There Sabrina learned that the convicted murderer hadn't changed at all and only wanted Sabrina to use her money and power to get her out of jail sooner.

·         At Oakwood, Bradley went with the intention of having Jillian released, but after learning she passed a polygraph test he had his doubts. Jillian blasted him for not having fait in her and he left as she was restrained.

·         Brittany revealed to Justin and Brandi that in order to get them access to leave the country from her former father-in-law she would first have to visit with her ex-husband Douglas and try to rekindle their romance, despite the fact she is falling in love with Ethan.

·         Natasha learned of the death of Daniel Williams and another teenage girl was raped and murdered

 All Or Nothing
Episode 117: I Still Miss Someone
By: Josh Hawkins

   "I'm sorry that I don't have much time Jodi." The Honorable Hillary Watson sat on the corner of her desk. "I have court in about ten minutes."

    "I understand, completely." Jodi replied, "I was just hoping that you could tell me where Smoke is at. I called his cell phone a couple of times yesterday and then again this morning. He didn't answer, is he purposely avoiding me?"

    "Well after the way your mother treated him would you blame him Jodi?"

    "Yes actually I do."

    "I don't know all the details about that, but from what Mom said it was a heated conversation both ways." She defended, "Besides I have nothing to do with that, I'm just wanting to ask him if he's heard from my sister."

    "She's still not come home?"

    "Not yet." Jodi replied, "Plus on top of that she's not bothered to call or send an e-mail. We're all very worried."

    "As is Smoke and I."

    "I have no doubts you aren't." Jodi replied, "So…do you know where Smoke is at?"

    "He flew back to Boston after the fight he had with your mother. He's spending some time with my brother up there."

    "He never mentioned having an uncle."

    "Well that's where he's at." Hillary replied, "You know you're mother really laid into him. Perhaps more than she should have."

    "That maybe so but Smoke isn't completely innocent either, Hillary. April made it clear how she felt about an engagement and he outright disrespected her feelings."

    "You think that is what caused her to leave too, don't you?"

    "I think it contributed, yes Hillary. But you have to remember that we just lost our brother in the most horrific of ways, I think that figured into her decision as well. Let's not give Smoke all the credit for driving her away, okay."

    She muttered under her breath, "I have to go." She said, "If you'll excuse me."

    Hillary showed Jodi the door, slammed it shut and quickly boarded the elevator, "This one is going up." She replied sharply, "You'll have to catch the next one."

    Jodi smiled, "Well that went well, yes." She pushed the down button and waited patiently for the elevator when she suddenly realized, "I left my damn purse in there." Glancing down at her watch, "And damnit I'm going to be late for the memorial."

    She walked over to an armed security guard, "Hi I was wondering if you could help me."

    Valerie piddled around her room for a few minutes before settling comfortably on the spare bed in her room. It was cramped with the wigs, the nurse's outfit and more she was ready for this charade to be over with.   

    Which was what she told herself when she fell onto the bed with the leather bound journal in one hand and a cup of coffee in another.

    "One more time for giggles." She said aloud flipping back the cover. Oh yes this would be the last time she would read this alone. "I'm about to blow you out of the water Jillian." She laughed, "Finally!"

    Once inside the office Jodi quickly went for her purse and as she spun around to leave knocked a picture off the corner of Hillary's desk.

    "Damn it." She swore again, "I'm such a klutz…" Her words trailed off as she picked the frame up from the floor the glass was shattered but she saw it…Jodi saw the truth staring her right in the face.

    "Oh my God." She gasped, "It's true."

    "You're here early." Andrew asked as the sun beat down on them.

    "Fallon asked me to meet her here. Joy is picking her up this morning." Natasha explained, "You're hear sort of early aren't you?"

    "Fallon called Jodi when she got in and asked if I would be a pallbearer."

    "Well that was nice of her." Natasha sighed as a patrol car carrying Joy and Fallon came to a stop. "Fallon," Natasha opened the door, "I am so sorry for your loss."

    "Thank you very much, I appreciate that." Fallon hugged Natasha, "Andrew, how are you?"

    "I'm good. Your father is going to be missed very much."

    "Yes he will. I appreciate you being a pallbearer."

    "It's going to be my honor Fallon. We've had our differences in the past but he was a wonderful friend."

    Fallon smiled, "Yeah daddy told me about your bigamy charges a few years ago, shame on you Andrew." She patted him on the shoulder, "Natasha could I borrow you for a moment."

    "Sure." Natasha said as she took Fallon by the arm, "What's on your mind?"

    "I was so sorry to hear about Jered's accident, Joy was filling me in on the details, just awful."

    "It is." Natasha sighed, "I wish I could tell you that over time it's going to get better, but honey that's just not true."

    "I know. It took both dad and I along time to get over mom's death. The truth is I don't think he ever did." Fallon replied, "When I was flying down I had intended to ask you to deliver daddy's eulogy, but I thought it might to much for you."

    Natasha stopped walking, "Your father and I have been friends for a very long time Fallon and I would be honored if you allowed me to do that for him."

    "Really?" Fallon asked, "It won't upset you to much?"

    "Not at all." Natasha replied as the women began walking back towards the church.

    Sharon sat with her car idling and the cold air from the air conditioner blowing in her face, "Yes I'm still here." She had been on hold for over five minutes with a secretary from hospital.

    "I was trying to get in hold of someone about my medical records. I had a lump in my breast about four years ago and my doctor was Rachel McQueen. The first woman I spoke with said she's no longer practicing medicine there."

    "That's correct ma'am. Dr. McQueen is now practicing medicine in the greater Austin area." The secretary replied.

    "So my medical records are where?" Sharon asked.

    "Your records are property of Dr. McQueen until they are released to you."

    "Okay so do you happen to have a number I can reach the doctor at?"

    "One moment and I'll get that for you."

    Sharon waited a few minutes and before she received the number Andrew appeared to escort her into the service, "Hi honey." She smiled, "I'm going to be just about five more minutes. I'll meet you inside."

    She jotted down the number quickly and then dialed it before going into the service, "Dr. Rachel McQueen's office." Another secretary answered, "May I help you?"

    "I hope so. My name is Sharon Bradshaw and I was a patient of Dr. McQueen's when she was practicing medicine in River's Edge." She explained, "I had a lump in my breast about four years ago and I need to do another mammogram."

    "The last time I had one?" Sharon questioned after a few moments, "December of 2004."

    Inside the cool church, the first two rows on the left side where filled with uniformed officers, the opposite side sat Natasha, Joy and Daniel's beloved daughter Fallon.

    Four uniformed police officers, Bradley Marshall and Andrew Bradshaw carried the casket draped with the American flag of the former police chief and placed it at the front of the church. Jodi and then Sharon quietly snuck in and sat on the back pew as the Priest stood to address the congregation.

    "A verse of the 23rd Psalm says, 'Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for though art with me; they rod and thy staff they comfort me.'" He began as Natasha took Fallon's hand.

    "Police Chief Daniel Williams for twenty-six years feared no evil as he protected the citizens of the community against evil. Daniel was a veteran police officer of the River's Edge force and man beloved by many." The Priest continued, "At this time his daughter Fallon has asked former mayor and family friend Natasha Garrett Bradshaw to deliver his eulogy."

    Natasha stood and walked to the podium.

    "Fallon had initial reservations about asking me to do this today, so soon after my son's own death. However, no matter how many painful memories it brings up, they're worth it because Daniel was a man we all loved."

    "Mayor Bradshaw." Daniel announced entering the bedroom. "Jaxson said you wanted to see me."

    She turned away from him as she spoke softly, clearly and to the point, "Do you have any new leads?"


    "Daniel was an exceptional police officer, a talented leader, a friend and a remarkable father." She looked down at Fallon, "I had the most privileged opportunity to see all of those sides. Don't get me wrong, I've known Daniel for well over twenty years and he could stubborn, but somehow I always knew he held my best interest at heart. But boy was he stubborn at times…"

    "I have been through this hell before. You remember you were there and everyday since I got Jodi back in my arms I have prayed that God would protect my children just like my mother did with me. And yesterday my prayers Daniel, my prayers fell on deaf ears. So if you think I'm abusing my power then you think that because quite frankly I do not give a damn. I will resign my office, I will pay a ransom no matter how much, I'll move mountains if I have to. Do you understand me? Whatever it takes to bring my granddaughter home."

    "What would you like me to do Natasha?" Daniel asked.

    "Find Emily and then you bring the cowards who took her away from us, you bring them to me."

    "And what do you think you'll do when you get them in front of you?" He yelled at her hoping she would be forced to regain a grip on reality.

    Natasha spun back around, "I intend to blow them off the face of this earth. With a mother's anger and the fury of God's own thunder."

    "He kept me reigned in that day a few months back." She recalled, "He understood the pain I was going through because that was the type of man he was, caring and loving. For those of us lucky enough to have known Daniel, to be his friend, then we are all lucky beyond words. A remarkable man has left us here to not only mourn his passing, but also celebrate his life, his accomplishments and to carry on in his memory. Fallon my dear, your father was one of a kind, a unique treasure among people. Not soon will another pass this way, I'm a better woman and person today because he was apart of my life and everyone in this room feels that way. May we all take comfort in knowing that he now rests with the greatest of angels in heaven."

    The cemetery at St. Luke's sent chills down Jodi's back and scorching heat didn't help. She stood clutching the picture from Hillary's office and spoke to Jered's headstone.

    "Well I've gotten myself in quite the jam." She told him, "Nothing I really want to get into right now, but I will eventually. If you were here you would roll your eyes and tell me to leave well enough alone, mind my business and be a good wife. But we both know I never have minded my own business." She paused and choked back tears, "Yeah…I think we both know that, I'm sorry."

    She looked across to the opposite side, "Death is a funny thing, not ha, ha funny, just in how it works. How someone could be here one minute and then gone the next in the blink of an eye." She wiped her cheek, "So before I go I'm going to tell you something. I think Jaxson's moving to Austin in a few months. Can you believe that? Married less than a year and he's taken a job hundreds of miles away and Jered, it's not just any job, no, no…he is heavily considering being Uncle Charles' new Chief of Staff." Jodi shook her head, "I don't even know what the hell that means. Anyway, I got to go. I love you." She turned and ran smack into the chest of River's Edge newest police rookie, Trey Cook.

    "Sorry to interrupt."

    "Where you eavesdropping Trey?" Jodi questioned. The two had went to high school together and she wasn't particularly fond of him, "Because if you were that's very rude and inconsiderate of you."

    "No of course I wasn't." He replied, "Your mother asked me to come and get you, she's about to leave."

    "Oh of course, I'm sorry." Jodi smiled, "Listen have there been any new leads?" She asked underneath a large Oak shade tree, "On Jered's case, off the record of course."

    "I couldn't get in trouble for revealing that information."

    "He was my brother for God sake Trey. Please tell me do you have any new leads?"

    "Just one." He caved, "There was some blood found in the SUV, the Chief ordered another search and that's what they came up with." He explained, "The lab is working at getting a positive ID on it."

    She tiptoed and kissed him on the cheek, "Thank you. You're not that bad of a guy after all."

    Sharon stood staring at the room number: 510. She finally decided to knock and waited. A part of her anxiously waited for him to open the door and the other part dreaded him opening it.

    "Sharon." Gregory smiled, "This is a surprise."

    "I'm not interrupting anything with anyone am I?"

    "It's a good surprise actually. Come in."

    "Thank you." Sharon clutched her purse tightly, "You know the last time I was in a suite here at the hotel, a few days later I was accused of murder." She chuckled, "But you know that, huh?"

    "I do." Gregory handed her a drink, "Here's hoping history does not repeat its self."

    "My thoughts exactly." She sipped her water, "I thought I would have seen you at Daniel William's service today."

    "Some stuff came up with my ex-wife." He explained, "By the time we got done arguing about our daughter it was too late."

    "You have a daughter?" She asked, "I didn't know that. How old is she?"

    "Courtney, she's just turned eighteen. A senior in high school."

    "I remember when Kendra was a senior, such a long time ago it seems like." Sharon sighed and sat the glass down, "I've been doing a lot of thinking lately."

    "About us hopefully."

    "No, because there is not an us. At least not in the way you want." She looked at him, tall and handsome, "I don't know how far your investigators have gotten in regards to the information we talked about a few weeks ago."

    "I've thought about that and I'm not able to get there blood types on my own." she paused, "Gregory I need your help because I have three possible scenarios racing through my head right now and one of them has to pan out."

    "Regarding Andrew?"

    "Yes, I want them stop. Right now, immediately."

    "Sharon…are you sure about this." He paused, "You were very adamant in having this done."

    "I'll give you a check to pay them whatever they want, but let me make it perfectly clear to you Gregory…this investigation into Andrew's past, his blood type whatever…it's over."

    "And you're sure about this?"

    "Completely. Something has come up and I'm going to need my husband, all of him. I won't lie to him or sneak around behind his back doing distrustful things like what you and I have done."

    "What's come up?" Gregory asked, "Sharon are you in some type of trouble, is something wrong with you because if there is I want to know." He paused as she headed towards the door, "Don't shut me out, Sharon please."

    She pulled open the door, "I don't owe you anything and if you think do then you're sadly mistaken."

    "We have something here. Something big if you'll let it, you know we do. You know that I'm right Sharon."

    Facing the hallway, she turned and cut her eyes, "I'm married. What you and I had were two stolen, not so innocent kisses. Like I've already said Gregory, we don't have anything."

    "Everything seems pretty stable here for the moment." Savannah told Natasha, "Hi Andrew." She paused, "I'm headed up to the editing booth for awhile if you need anything."

    "Thanks Savannah." Natasha and Andrew both watched as she boarded the elevator. "She's a great girl, smart as all get out too."

    "Just a shame she's Audrey Pierce's daughter." He chimed in, "Quiet in here."

    Natasha held open the door to her office, "Uh-huh. They take lunch after the noon broadcast and then when everyone comes back we have our afternoon meeting. No one here but the desk assignment reporter." She pointed to the desk on the opposite end of room, "What some lunch? I have sandwiches."

    "What kind? He asked taking a seat in front of her desk.

    Natasha opened the mini-fridge to check, "Tuna, ham and turkey. You're choice."

    After a few minutes both had ate their sandwiches and were setting on the couch, "So you think the public pleas are going to work?" She asked him.

    "Daniel was worried about the whack jobs we would get just going after the money." Andrew explained, "I think though for every one phone call out of a hundred might be beneficial you know what I mean?"

    "Yeah." She paused for a long moment.

    "How you been?" Andrew finally broke the silence, "And don't give me some fluffy bullshit answer either, Natasha. Tell me the truth."

    She lowered her head, ran her fingers through her blonde hair and sighed, "The nights…they're the worst. I just lay in bed, thinking. Sometimes I cry and sometimes I just think, most of the times I cry. I think what if I had done something different, you know? Said something other than what I did, I wonder if he would still be here today…" she continued.

    At the assignment desk, Brandi approached, "Excuse me I was wondering if Natasha Bradshaw was here."

    The reporter pointed to her office and Brandi began to make her way there.

    "You were doing what you thought was best for our son." He told her as his hand graced the top of her knee.

    "I thought so, we all thought so…" she replied as the tears finally came free flowing and in the moment, Andrew swept her into his arms. Her head buried into his chest she wept for a moment before looking up at him.

    "Andrew, I just want to know why? Why? That's what hurts me the most. I don't know why I failed Jered? Why he had to die? Why? There has to be a greater purpose and I don't think I have the patience or the strength to find out what it is." She cried, "What is the purpose of this?"

    And without thinking he put his hand under Natasha's chin, lifted her head up and kissed her on the lips…slowly and thoughtfully.

    As she sat there she remembered this kiss, his kiss…the way he used to kiss her and she did not stop him, nor did she pull away, nor did Brandi turn away.

    Brittany stepped off the elevator and onto the fourth floor of the Richmond Industries International Office. Everyone but one secretary setting at her desk had seemed to have gone home already.

    "Good evening." A young late twenties American girl with red hair smiled, "Can I help you?"

    "Hello. I…my former…" her words trailed, "Is he in?" She finally managed pointing to the door marked: Douglas Richmond Jr.

    "Do you have an appointment, because it is after business hours" She explained, "Douglas doesn't take clients after hours."

    "You call him Douglas?" She questioned, "It doesn't matter." Brittany was uncomfortable, she could feel the butterflies doing laps around her stomach as she spoke, "I'm from the New England office, and Douglas Sr. sent me."

    "I'll let him know you are here. Ms??"

    "Thank you I'll show myself in." Brittany walked to the door and knocked lightly. "It's a private matter."

    "Come in." He called as she pushed the door open. She stood silent for a moment, he was writing something and didn't even bother to look up. Douglas was still as handsome as he had ever been. He'd only grown better looking with age. He still wore the same cologne, she could smell the scent of it in the air. For amount her mind forgot about Ethan and the butterflies stopped flying.

    "Hello Douglas." She finally said. He raised his head…their eyes met and the butterflies took off again.

    His lips brushed against her cheek, she could feel his hot breath float down her neck sending chills down her back. "Sorry." He said taking a step back.

    "It's okay." She replied also taking a step backwards, "We were married…it's okay."

    "So, um what brings you here?"

    "You've been on my mind quite bit, actually. I haven't stopped thinking about you since Jodi Bradshaw's wedding."

    "Yeah, you were there with Ethan Pierce weren't you?"

    "I was yes. And you, you were with Caress Banning. Found that a little out of the ordinary, but I kept my thoughts to myself." She paused, "Besides, wasn't any of my business."

    "Caress was basically courting me, trying to land an account."

    "Oh." Brittany shrugged, "That makes sense. I suppose."

    "Yeah." Douglas poured himself a drink, offered one to Brittany and took a seat, "Is it just me or is this really uncomfortable. I'm sorry, but you were the last person I excepted to see her."

    "I know, and for the record it's not just you. I didn't think it would be this hard." Brittany sipped her drink, "I suppose I should ask you how DeAnna's doing?"

    "Good, great. She just started pre-school and seems to be loving it."

    "That's good."

    "Would you like to see a picture?"

    The cave was silent for only a second and then a sound none of them expected to hear, the crying of a baby. "Well it looks like your time is up Douglas." Erica smiled as she pulled the young child out of the basket and she turned to face them, "See now it's just like a family reunion."

    "You're lying." Douglas finally spoke, "There is no way that child is mine, it's a lie."

    "That's right." Brittany defended, "She's lying again. Douglas would never sleep with you, never."

    "Poor sweet, naive Brittany. He did." Erica told the trio, "This little girl is Douglas' daughter."

    "No." Brittany abruptly replied, her body shaken by the painful memories, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't say it like that."

    "It's all right." He told her, "I resented her for awhile too at first. But she didn't ask for this, it's not her fault…they're my mistakes and I've learned to live with them over time." Douglas finished his drink, "My Mother told me that your parents got divorced over the whole thing."

    Brittany shook her head, "Daddy called right after it happened and he refused to talk to Ryan so I just severed all ties with them. Has she met DeAnna?"


    "My mother?"

    He shook his head, "No. She obviously knows about her, but she hasn't nor will she ever meet Andrea O'Keefe."

    "That's reassuring." Brittany sat down opposite her ex-husband. "You've probably guessed by now…"

    "You have an ulterior motive?" He stopped her. "I only assumed."

    She thought if he only knew, "I've met someone, a man." She smiled at the mere thought of Ethan, "And I think it's about to get serious, if I'll let it."

    "You're holding back? Why?"

    "I am a little…holding back. It's just that I don't completely trust him. I blame that on you, by the way. You betrayed me over and over again, I lost faith in you and because of that I put up so many barriers to protect myself." She paused as he processed the information, "It's not completely your fault, there's so much more I haven't sorted out yet."

    "Like what?"

    "I thought I was over it…I seriously thought I was over you and I thought you were over me…until a few days ago. I accidentally found an email to Megan, from you."

    She paused as he sighed heavily, "Did you read it?"

    "Some of it, yes." Brittany stopped and looked at him, "I don't want to beat around the bush here or play games so I'll just ask. Douglas are you still in love with me? Because I still love you."

    Sharon slipped her sunglasses off as she entered St. Luke's for a second time that day. Once in side the confessional she spoke in a soft whisper, "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned."

    "How long has been since your last confessional my daughter?"

    "Several months Father."

    "And what sins are you repenting for?"

    "I have been unfaithful to my husband Father. I have lusted for another man and I have acted upon those feelings. And now…" she paused for a moment.

    "And now what?" The priest questioned.

    "Now I think I'm about to be punished for my actions."

    "You know you really should have read the entire thing."

    "I didn't though."

    "Well you should have." He said hotly. "Not only was that email private between Megan and I, it would have saved you one hell of a trip."

    Before either one of them could say anything more, the secretary from earlier knocked on the door and entered, "Douglas they just brought DeAnna down from the nursery, we're ready to go when you." She smiled and blew him a kiss.

    "I should have read it all…" Brittany whispered under her breath.

    "Brittany…" Douglas tried as she stood to leave, "Autumn and I have been dating for a few years now, we're engaged to be married next month."

    "Next month?" She was almost in a daze. Holding her hand up to stop him from speaking, "That's what he meant." Brittany realized, "When he said time is limited."

    "Do what?" Douglas asked, "Brittany are you all right? I know this is a shock, I should've called and told you. I just had no idea you would find that email. I'm so sorry…"

    "No, no. Don't apologize Douglas really." She got her purse, "I'm sorry to have took up your time." She headed towards the door, "So this is it…I mean we're going to end this…whatever is, it's over this time?"

    "I suppose so." He replied, "I thought Megan would have told you."

    "She doesn't know I saw the email. How long have you two been in contact with one another?"

    "Since I left." He revealed, "We exchange letters once or twice a week. I'm so sorry that you came here with the idea of you and I in your head again."

    "Me too." Brittany said softly, "You and I we love one another. I mean let's admit that to ourselves at least, after everything we've shared and been through. Let's admit that we love one another deeply, fiercely…desperately. But that love isn't strong enough to bond us together, you've known that for quite awhile haven't you?"

    He shook his head, "Yes. You will always hold a special place in my heart Brittany, one that no other woman will ever touch."

    She walked across the room and took his hand in hers, leaned forwarded and kissed his lips, "As you will mine, forever."

    Brittany swung open the door and walked straight to the elevator. It looked right into Douglas' office and as she stood there waiting for the doors to close, on him once and for all she knew where her future was, she knew who her future was with and she knew what she had to do.

    "Doug, it's Brittany." She said stepping out of the elevator, "I just left his office, yes."

    "And how did it go?" Her former father-in-law questioned.

    "You knew he was engaged. You had no right keeping that information from me."

    "Brittany you have no right asking me to do what you're asking either." Doug replied, "But I'm doing it for you."

    "Fair enough." She answered, "Everything went as it was meant to go. Douglas and I are over, and we both accept that. You and Katherine should do the same. I'm leaving London in the morning; I'll stop in Watersdale tomorrow. We'll finalize all the arrangements we've talked about. Good night Doug."

    "Good evening River's Edge, I'm Savannah Pierce. It would appear at this hour that a third homicide has occurred here in our city." She switched camera views, "Earlier this month the body of an eighteen year old female was found at the Southern River Hotel and just last week another eighteen year old female was found near the lake. We have a crew in downtown River's Edge at this hour and they will bring you up to the minute information on this rape and murdered of yet another young female."

    With the cheap window drapes pulled closed, the lamp by the bed shining overhead, Valerie Caldwell Marshall knew she should be getting ready for her shift at Oakwood Mental Institution.

    But the burning temptation to read Jillian's one more time kept her from doing what she should do. Those journals that Valerie had stolen from Charlotte Dunphy years earlier had given her the upper hand in her quest: to destroy Jillian's life and win Bradley back!

    "This has to be the stupidest thing I've ever done." Valerie read aloud, "Taking both babies from the hospital…" She paused knowing the next part was the best, "scratch that."

    Jillian had written the words on August 6, 1984 according to the journals, Amy was just a little over three days old, as was Jodi Lynn Bradshaw.

    "The stupidest thing I could have done was removing the bracelets." Valerie continued to read from the journal, "What have I done? Oh God help me, I have mercy upon my soul and help me return the right baby."

    Valerie laughed out aloud, "I couldn't have planned this any better." She said to the mirror, her wicked smile reflected back at me, "Jillian, Jillian, Jillian you're the person behind precious Jodi's kidnapping all those years ago and you're going to pay…finally!"