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|All Or Nothing
Episode 130: I Survived You
April 25, 2010
Savannah settled into her desk and looked around for her notes from Friday. As she scanned the other news stations in
town, Sabrina approached her desk.
“How are you this morning?”
Savannah raised her eyes to her boss, “I’m tired if you must know,” she answered.
“You know that we want you and Travis here should there be any breaking news regarding this freak who is running
around murdering these young girls.”
“Don’t forget, he's raping them too,” she reminded with disgust. “I haven’t ever had to cover a story like this before and I
guess it’s just getting to me.”
“Don’t let it,” Sabrina told her. “I know this sounds horribly insensitive, but you and Travis are doing great up there each
night. Our numbers haven’t been this high since Natasha and I took over."
“You’re right Sabrina it does sound insensitive,” Savannah sighed. “I’ll just be glad with this sick bastard is finally caught,”
she declared and as she got up from her desk to go check the news desk. She had no idea how close the sick bastard
April 25, 2005 – 8:37AM
Megan could feel the heat of the sun shining through the blinds as she began to stir in bed. She rolled over and felt for
Derek, but his side of the bed was empty. Setting up she glanced over at the alarm clock – 8:37 it read.
“Derek?” she called out from the bedroom with no answer. As she got up from the bed, she wrapped the sheet around her
body and headed towards the bathroom, where she heard the shower running.
“Good morning,” Megan pushed open the door. “Didn’t you hear me calling for you?”
“Nope,” he answered without looking away from the mirror. “Must have still been in the shower,” Derek explained.
“Yeah, I guess you were. I’m going to take off. I have a class in about an hour.”
Derek shook his head, “Okay. Are you still going over to KJRE this afternoon to meet with that Savannah woman?”
Megan shook her head, “Yeah, around two o’clock or so. I'm going to interview her for the paper.”
He shook his head, “I’ll see you this afternoon then,” he smiled.
“Sounds good,” she closed the door behind him…completely unaware of what the afternoon would have in store for her or
As she made her way across the room to her nightstand, she noticed the time before answering – 9:42.
“Good morning mother,” she answered.
“Yes, I’m fine…I was actually just about to head out…Yes I’m meeting Megan and Savannah, we’ve spent this day
together for the last five years…” she listened as Pamela rambled on and her mind began to wander.
“Thank God you're here!" Sabrina Davis Bradshaw smiled when Angela appeared in her doorway.
“Has there been an interior design emergency?”
Sabrina snickered, "You know usually I would find that funny, but actually yes there was."
"Are you serious?" she questioned.
"I am indeed. You're aware of the wine festival that's going on this weekend, well my producer this morning insisted that
they shoot the segment on our ivory white sofa as opposed to I don't know the kitchen set!" Sabrina threw her hands in the
air. "There are days I wonder about some of these people."
Angela shook her head, "You want me to reupholster it or what?"
"You know at this point I could less. Reupholster it or by a new one for all I care, just please make sure it isn't white."
"Okay I'll have Ryan start looking to see what we have in the warehouse."
"As a matter of fact while you're at it, just touch up the whole damn Wake up River's Edge set," she instructed.
"That's going to cost you extra you realize that right?" Angela questioned as her phone began ringing. "I'm sorry Sabrina I
have to get this, one minute."
"Good morning this is Angela."
"Did I catch you at a bad time?" he deep, sexy voice questioned.
A smiled broadened across her face as she leaned against Sabrina's desk. "No, never. I'm actually at KARE working. I
don't think we'll be able to meet for lunch."
"Really?" Derek questioned as he watched from his window Megan backing out of the driveway. "I was looking forward to
Angela let out a small laugh, "And I was really looking forward to seeing you too, but I'm working."
"You have to eat honey. How about I bring us lunch, at the station say around 1:30 after my classes?"
She thought for a moment, "Okay. That sounds fun. By then everyone will have returned to work and we can haver our
"Perfect, I'll see you then."
"Okay, bye." Angela dropped her phone back into her bag and headed to the Wake Up River's Edge set to continue interior
decorator wars with Sabrina for the rest of the morning. All the while unaware of how this day would truly end.
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reached for her umbrella in the passenger seat and opened the door. As she placed her black high heel against the gray
gravel, a loud clasp of thunder roared in the distance and she looked across the cemetery lawn.
thoughts of the same time, five years earlier.
the trunk she closed her eyes and mentally tried to prepare for what was about to happen next.
She glanced down at her wrist watch and noted the time – 9:15 and as the driver pulled out into oncoming traffic and
questioned where they were headed, it took all Savannah had to speak.
“St. Mark’s cemetery,” she answered as her mind fluttered back to that day…
April 25, 2010
As she slowly made her way to the confessional booth in the back of St. Mark’s church, her mind raced with memories of
that day – the one day that had so drastically changed her outlook on life.
Once inside, she heard the priest on the other side speak in a hushed whisper, “In the name of the Father, and of the Son,
and Holy Ghost.”
It had been years since her last confessional, so long in fact she didn’t know the date, but it was at least five years since
she had set foot inside that church. In her mind the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost had abandoned on that April day
and there was no changing her mind of that. But, this day, this year was different. Something had drawn her inside and to
“Forgive me Father for I have sinned, it has been a very long time since my last confession,” she paused and thought if
confessing her sins today would really allow her to go from this place in peace.
And without any further warning she confessed, “I murdered a man five years in self defense and then lied to the police
about it…” she paused as the priest took in the confessional.
“Are you truly sorry for those actions?”
The woman sat there in the darkness and thought for a moment and then answered, “No, I’m not. Because every year on
this day I visit his grave and remind myself of the unspeakable things he would have done to me and my friends and every
year I tell myself I would do it again.”
“Well my child I’m afraid your sins cannot be forgiven until you are truly sorry for taking another man’s life.”
She thought for a moment, “I suppose you’re right Father and quite frankly that’s something I think I can live with.”
I survived the crash.
Survived the burn.
Survived the worst, yeah baby, but I learned.
Survived the lies.
Survived the blues.
Almost killed me, but I survived the truth.
And when you wrote me off like I was doomed.
I survived you.
I see the picture clear now, the fog has lifted.
The wool you tried to pull over my eyes was clever.
Yeah you're gifted.
But you forgot to dot some I's, and cross some T's along the way.
I'm better now despite you baby.
I'm stronger these days.
want me to drop you off here?”
She looked up from her purse, “Of course I am. Could you please set my bags by the car that’s in front of us?”
Savannah opened the door and set her foot against the gravel. In the distance, she could see Angela arriving. She handed
the driver his fee and as he drove away, she wondered if she was sure about this. For the last four years, the three of them
had convened upon this place, not to relive the horror of that day, but to rejoice in the fact that they were survivors.
Megan began slowly to make her way across the cemetery lawn to the gravel road. “How was your flight?” she questioned
“It was all right,” she answered. “How are you honey?”
With a shrug of the shoulder, she answered, “Probably the same way that all three of us are feeling. This day really doesn’
t get any easier does it?”
Savannah linked arms with Megan, as the sedan drove away and Angela’s car came to a halt. “I don’t think it’s supposed
to. I think we’re supposed to rejoice in the fact the fact that we’re still here, safe and sound.”
As Angela emerged from the car, her ponytail blew in the wind. The air was cool and all three of them could tell the rain
was about to start at any moment. In her hand, Angela carried six roses, two for each of them intertwined together. The day
of Derek’s funeral, each of the woman had arrived together, very similar to their gathering today and the previous ones
over the last four years. The roses, red and white together signified unity. As strange, as it was, their bond, their friendship
had been solidified by the acts of a psychopath.
After they had exchanged somber hugs, they each looked to the sky, the clouds were getting lower and they all knew the
rain would soon set in.
“Shall we?” Savannah finally spoke.
“I think so,” Megan answered, as the three of them circled together on the gravel road at St. Mark’s cemetery. They joined
hands, "Savannah I believe it's your turn."
“So it is…” she whispered.
“The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: He leadeth me beside the still
waters. He restoreth my soul: He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for His name' sake,” Savannah continued.
“Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: For thou art with me; Thy rod and thy staff,
they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies; Thou annointest my head with oil;
My cup runneth over,” they prayed in unison together.
“Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the House of the Lord forever,”
Savannah concluded with tears in her eyes. "Amen."
“All right,” Angela declared, “let’s get this over with.”
“I’m taking a late lunch and then I have a meeting with the board over at the Bradshaw Building,” Sabrina explained to
Savannah. “Do you think you can hold things down here while I’m gone?”
“He’s on assignment across town.” Sabrina noticed the clock on the wall above the news desk. “I honestly don’t think
much will happen between now and the five o’clock broadcast.”
“You don’t do you?” Savannah questioned with an air of concern. “Your gut telling you that?”
“No the only thing that my gut is saying is lunch time. You’ll call me if something explodes?”
“Of course,” she answered. “Go we’ll be fine. You’ll be here for the five broadcast?”
“Aren’t I always?” Sabrina questioned as she headed out of the newsroom. On her way out, she passed Angela and Ryan
who were busy working on the set redesign.
“If ya’ll need anything, let Savannah know,” Sabrina instructed as she passed by, “she’s in charge.”
With that, she was in the front lobby, digging in her purse for her sunglasses when Derek Jordan strolled into the building
and made his way to the receptionist's desk.
As she had done for Ryan hours earlier, the receptionist handed Derek a clipboard to sign in. When he volunteered his
driver’s license, she took it with a smile. He stood in front of the web cam attached to her PC and took a picture. One
minute. Two minutes. Three minutes later, she handed him his badge, instructed him to return it upon his departure and
gave him clearance to the news station and everyone in it…completely unaware of the loaded gun tucked safe and sound
under his jacket.
mind were the same as Megan's…
“I let him touch me,” Megan finally spoke, a tear rolling down her cheek. “The same hands that raped and brutally
murdered seven other women,” she trembled, “touched me every night and…” her words trailed off as Savannah wrapped
her arm around her shoulders.
“And you enjoyed it,” Angela finished for her. “You weren’t the only one Megan.”
Savannah ran her finger across the jagged rock of his headstone, “I’ll never forget that smile he had when he approached
my desk. The way he said my name…it sent chills down my spine immediately."
“Hello Savannah,” Derek smiled down at her. “Am I disturbing you? If you’re busy I’ll come back in a few minutes.”
She raised her eyes up towards him, “Mr. Jordan, how are you? No, I’m not busy just getting ready for the evening news.
What can I help you with?”
His words seethed with sudden anger, “You’re going to do exactly as you’re told Savannah,” he ordered her. “You seem
pretty good at that from what I’ve seen each night on the TV.”
“I beg your pardon,” she rose from her chair.
“Oh please do,” his words slithered from his lips and into the air. “I love when a sexy, powerful woman begs,” Derek
“I don’t think you should be here,” Savannah declared. “And quite frankly you are completely out of line. You need to leave
or I will be forced to call security…” and with one fluid motion Derek’s plan was set into motion.
“I’ll be the one doing all of the enforcing around here today,” he told her as the cold metal of the barrel of the pistol pushed
against her stomach. She could feel his hot breath on her neck, warning her silently that she was about to get what he
thought she so rightfully deserved.
She drew in a deep breath, “Why are you doing this? If it’s money that you want…I don’t have much but whatever I have I’ll
His lips kissed her neck softly and she quivered with uneasiness. “I don’t want money from you Savannah…I never
wanted money from any of them.”
“Rebecca Green. Karen Evans. Carla Lopez. They should sound familiar to you. If not I can continue."
“You’re the Campus Rapist,” she choked back her tears. “You’re the sick monster who’s been terrorizing us.”
He pushed the gun deeper into her stomach and scolded her, “Tsk! Tsk! Savannah. Sticks and stones will break bones,
but name calling only pisses me off even more than I already am. You’ve been a very vocal advocate, I find that very sexy.
You have no idea what all I’ve dreamed about doing to you…”
“Oh God!” she whispered in agony. “I would rather die first.”
A chuckled filled the small office, “Well we both know that’s not my style Savannah. Now you’re going to do exactly as I say
or I'll just start shooting from right here and let you watch all these innocent people die and then, well I’ll kill you,” he told
her. “So will you help me my sweet Savannah?”
“All right,” she answered. “Whatever you want, I do it.”
“That’s good, very good.” He stroked her hair and kissed her neck again. “I’ve been waiting a long time for this moment,”
Derek told her. “I think you’re going to enjoy it as much as I know that I’m going to. Do you know how incredibly sexy you
She swallowed hard, fearing for her life, “No.”
“Well you are,” he kissed her once more. “You and I are going to walk across the station into that empty office there,” he
pointed. “Along the way you’re going to act as if nothing is wrong. You’re going to summons Megan Shirley and Angela
Bradshaw to join you in that office and then…”
“Well then Savannah, the four of us are going to spend some intimate time alone,” he laughed.
his days roasting in hell with Satan himself!”
“Well what do we have here?” an unfamiliar female voice announced from behind the three women standing at Derek’s
grave. “The three black widows I presume?” the woman questioned.
“Tell me what your intentions of coming here today were, to dance on my son’s grave or to spit on it?”
|This heart has been torn in two.
Cut and bruised.
With too many bitter endings.
I'll be damned if I have thoughts of you
Rain on my new beginning.
“She said that this was her son’s grave,” Savannah clarified for them. “Is Derek your son?”
“Past tense,” the woman corrected, “Derek was my son. But then again the three of you standing here on today of all days,
I'm sure already knew that.”
“Of course we did,” Angela was sharp in her tone. “I’m Angela Bradshaw, one of Derek’s victims. And your name would
“Well,” Angela began, “Ms. Jordan this is…”
“Savannah Pierce and Megan Shirley, yes I’m well aware of who you three most certainly are.” She walked around the
three women to the opposite side of his headstone and faced each of them.
“You know it’s taken me five years to come back to this place and pay my respects to Derek,” she choked back a few tears.
"Imagine my surprise when I finally did to find the three of you here,” Penelope shook her head. “I know who each one of
you are…” she paused for a moment, “eight, nine and ten.”
|I can look in the mirror now.
It's been a slow awakening.
Haunted by a heart full of you, couldn't help mistaking.
That you could ever care for anyone.
Anyone but yourself. Hey.
But you would have to have a conscience baby.
Good luck I wish you well.
“I need to go to the restroom,” Angela announced from a corner of the office. Four hours had passed since Savannah sent
everyone but her and Megan out of the building. Four hours of wondering what was going to happen.
“Did you hear me? I need to go to the restroom,” Angela repeated. “Would that be possible, please.”
Derek waved his gun in her direction, “Not right now.”
“Then when?” she fired back.
“When I say so princess. Until then I suggest you shut the hell up.”
Silence fell over the room…from the outside sirens could be heard, helicopters were circling the station and the women
could feel the walls closing in around them.
“Derek,” Savannah spoke up finally. “You’ve had us in here for four hours now. You’ve let everyone else in the station
leave, so the police know what’s going on from first hand accounts.”
“Yeah, so what?” he asked. “I know this may come as a shocker to one or two of you but this has been the ultimate plan
“So what is it that you plan on doing to us?”
His eyes glazed over as he pointed the gun at Megan first. “Well number eight here…she’s been the ideal college girl.
Blonde, smart, easy on the eyes, great in bed…she was the standard that I used to compare all the other girls. They had
to have one of Megan’s trait, but never all of them. These girls trusted me, because one of Megan’s other traits is how
naïve she truly is at times," Derek grazed his hand over Megan's cheek.
"These girls invited me into their dorm rooms or their apartments. They would be so googly-eyed that I looked their way
they practically give themselves to me on the spot…and then they realized what they had done. I would see the fear in their
eyes, hear the whimper in their scream, and wipe away their tears as they raced down their cheeks. All the while
wondering, if Megan would do the same when it finally became her turn.”
“What have I ever done to deserve this?” Megan questioned. "I had feelings for you. Honest and true feelings."
“Oh you know exactly what you did,” he yelled at her. “You sat in my class day after day after day, playing little sexual mind
games with me until I just had to have you and it nearly cost me my career.”
“Take a look around you sick bastard, you’re going to lose a whole lot more now,” Angela spoke calmly.
“Then there’s number nine…not quite the top prize, but she’ll certainly settle for second place. Her smart mouth was
wickedly sexy. My relationship with you Angie was nothing more than,” he paused, “well an experiment I suppose you
could say. You gave me something that Megan didn’t and that none of the other girls did either to be honest.”
“Yeah what was that?”
“Maturity,” he answered. “You were nothing more than a little distract to have fun with and I’ll admit at first I wasn’t going to
include you in this massacre here but why should you be left out of all the fun?”
“And me?” Savannah asked him.
“Well you number ten…you’re the ultimate goal. From the moment I saw you on TV I knew you would be the one person
whose skin I could get under the most. You became a player in my little game even before I killed my first beauty..."
|I survived the crash.
Survived the burn.
Survived the worst, yeah baby, but I learned.
Survived the lies.
Survived the blues.
Almost killed me, but I survived the truth.
And when you wrote me off like I was doomed.
“What the hell did you just say?” her eyes lit with fury. “I asked you question and I damn well what an answer!” Savannah
“I said I know who you three are…eight, nine and ten.”
Without thinking, Savannah stepped forward and smacked Penelope across the face with a forceful hand. “How dare
you…how dare you say that to the three of us. Your son…the monster that you raised and unleashed on this world, he
intended to rape me…he was going to rape all three of us and worse…”
“You lay a hand on me again and I swear to God you will regret it,” Penelope warned.
“You refer to either one of us by the disgusting label that your son assigned us that day and I swear to God Penelope you
will regret it,” Angela promised her. “Don’t you forget who the survivors are here and don’t try to wish away the
reprehensible acts of your son.”
“I know what Derek did. I live with the shame and humiliation of his actions every single day of my life, don’t you forget that
I’m paying the price as well. No matter whom the victims were here or who was responsible for the events of April 25th,
that doesn’t give any of you the right to do what was done. One of you shot him. I read the police reports, your identical
statements about what happened. He laid the gun down, said he was going to surrender to the police but instead he was
shot in the chest four times and he died.”
All four women stood in silence for a moment…and then finally she spoke, the truth.
“We told the police he had laid the gun down because he was going to surrender,” she began. “It’s how we helped keep
our own sanity about the events of that night.”
She drew in a deep breath, “The truth is Derek laid the gun down because he was tired of waiting. Those were his words,
not mine and not theirs. He was tired of waiting. He was ready to deal with Angela and everyone in the God forsaken office
knew what that meant…”
The gun sat on the edge of the desk. Angela was still perched in her corner watching as Derek came closer towards here.
He took off his belt and slowly began unbuttoning his shirt.
“I’m tired of waiting…” he announced.
Her eyes locked on the gun, she knew he was getting closer and closer to Angela. This was a do or die moment, for all of
them. Her mind raced with dazed thoughts, but she knew if she didn’t at least try then none of them would make it out alive.
In a fluid motion, just as the whole ordeal had begun hours earlier, she grabbed the gun, knocking over a chair in the
process. Derek spun around to attempt to regain control of the hostage situation that he spent months planning, but it
was to late – his victims had gained the upper hand.
“What are you doing?” Derek questioned as he reached for the gun. “You don’t want to do this. The outcome will be far
worse than you could ever imagine.”
“Really? Because I don’t think things could get any worse than they are right now.”
She took aim and adjusted to the gun in her hands, “Angela…” she called out, “Angela get up and come over here behind
“Do you have any idea what I’m going to do to you when I get my hands on you, you little bitch?”
“Do you have any idea that I’m about to blow you to hell you despicable son-of-a-bitch?”
no mistake Penelope, Derek’s intention was to murder us, he’d already done it seven other times. I was given an
opportunity to save not only my life, but their lives as well and I took it.”
“It was you?”Penelope questioned. “You murdered my son.”
“No. I defended myself against your son,” Megan admitted. “After being held hostage for almost eight hours, I shot Derek
four times in the chest, he fell to the ground and the three of us walked out of a building that we were supposed to die in.”
Penelope turned away from the women. It was difficult hearing those words come out of Megan’s mouth. Deep down
however, she knew they were true.
“I lost my son that day…do you realize that?” Penelope questioned. “I never got the chance to say goodbye or that I loved
“Neither did any of the women that he brutally murdered,” Savannah reminded her. “Ms. Jordan we know that in your mind
you think Megan murdered your son…”
“Because she did,” she lashed out. “Call it whatever you wish, but you made a decision to pick up that gun and fire it. And
then…then you all tell the police that each one of you did it…that just made it all hurt even more.”
“It was the only way we could move forward from that day,” Angela assured her. “We’re very sorry that you lost your son…”
Megan interjected, “Like hell I am. I’m not sorry at all. I’m not sugar coating anything for this woman Angela. In her mind,
she thinks that by defending myself I murdered Derek. Penelope thinks that her precious son walked on water with Jesus
himself, but that’s not the case. He was sick and twisted. He lied and preyed on me for months, all the while plotting how
he was going to murder me because he had some sick fetish with the articles I wrote about the campus rapist.”
“Yes well that maybe the case, but you Megan Shirley,” Penelope warned, “you’re no better. You murdered my Derek and I’
ll think that until the day I too die.”
“You can think whatever the hell you what, I don’t give a damn.” She shook her head, “I’m through. We come here, the
three of us every year on this day to console one another and realize that we’re not victims, that we’ll never be victims
again at the hands of men like your son. You think I murdered your son? Good! Because, if put in the same position again
I would do the same exact thing.”
Megan turned from the three of them and headed back towards her car. As she quickly approached, she could Savannah
and Angela following behind her.
“Don’t let her get to you Megan,” Savannah assured her. “You did what you had to do that day. Anyone of us would have
done the same thing given the opportunity.”
“I know,” she told them. “She’s just as sick as Derek, because she’s trying to spin this to be my fault or your fault, I won’t
have it anymore. I’ve spent the last five years recovering from this. I won’t go backwards because of her. Listen I think I
need some time alone to just process everything that’s happened today. I’ll call you both a little later.”
“Are you sure?” Angela asked. “We can come with you or the both of you can come to my apartment.”
Megan shook her head, “No, I’m sure. The two of you go have lunch and get drunk for me, I’ll be fine.”
“Okay. Well at least call us later or have Gregory do it,” Savannah ordered her.
“I will,” she got inside her car and turned the engine over. “I love you both, so much,” she said out the open window, “I’ll
call you soon.”
Angela and Savannah stood there watching her disappear into the afternoon, their arms linked. “You think she’ll be okay?”
Savannah asked. “This was the first time since that afternoon that she admitted it was her who shot Derek.”
“She’ll be fine. We’ll be fine,” Angela assured her. “But I think this is going to be our final visit to this place…Megan was
right she sent Derek Jordan straight to hell and well that’s where he belongs.”
She opened the door and immediately questioned, “Do you know how late it is?”
“I’m sorry,” she sighed heavily. “Can I come in, please? I really have to talk to someone.”
“What the matter honey? Is everything all right?” Brittany gestured for her to come in.
With tears in her eyes, she answered, “No. I live with that day burned into my memory. Day after day, month after month,
year after year…” she whispered. “And just when I think it can’t get any worse, just when I think I’m finally over what he did
“Something happened at the cemetery today didn’t it?”
Megan shook her head, “Derek’s mother showed up and accused all three of us for murdering her son. I confessed and
told her that I was the one who shot him. Can you believe that she would do that Brittany? After everything, that miserable
son-of-a-bitch put us through. What he did to those innocent girls, she should be the one who’s apologizing. But no, she
has the audacity to stand there and call me a murder.”
“She told me I was no better than him,” she cried.
Brittany took her friend into her arms and held her tight, much like she had done five years earlier in the hospital. “She’s a
mother, who is still grieving the loss of her son and in her own way, she’s coming to terms with what he did.”
“I understand that. But, she said I’m no better than him. I defended myself and yes I shot him, but he murdered seven
“Listen to me. There are no doubts in the minds of anyone who knows you and loves you about the type of person you are.
No, you’re nothing like Derek Jordan. He was merciless man who plotted to do you harm,” she reassured her. “You are
nothing, absolutely nothing like that.”
Brittany stroked Megan’s hair, “It was by some blessed fate that he laid that gun down when he did. Because, it gave you
the opportunity to not only save yourself, but Angela and Savannah as well.”
She closed her eyes and listened to Brittany, “Thank you,” she whispered.
“I know that what she said today stung and it probably will for awhile, but you didn’t let this define you five year ago. You
picked up and you move on, you have to do that again. Okay?”
Megan shook her head, “Okay.”
The two of them sat on the sofa, Megan wrapped in Brittany’s arm until she had drifted asleep and as Brittany had done
five years earlier, she reached over, turned the lamp off and remained that way until morning.