Gregory Holloway        |        January 28, 1964       |        Series History: 2004-2006; 2010-Present
2012 Year in Review
2012 Year in Review

It was branded as the "Now or Never" Relaunch and series creator Josh
Hawkins not only a year to remember, but also the biggest year in "All Or
Nothing" history.

Josh Hawkins takes you on a look back over the last year and relives
some of the best moments in 2012. The list was compiled by the series
creator with in put from viewers at the Official All Or Nothing Forum
hosted by the EpiGuide.
Number Six
Brandi and Audrey Come Face-to-Face
Episode 149: Desperately

"The rivalry between Audrey King Pierce and Brandi Brashears Pierce spanned from
late 2001 until the 2006 hiatus. It was fueled by Brandi's love for Audrey's ex-husband
and her two sons. However, when she went to prison (off-screen) for her role in Jered's
death it was Audrey who stepped into a maternal role for Brandi's son Lewis. Readers
have compared the duo to that of Brooke English and Erica Kane on All My Children and
that is one of the greatest compliments ever!"
    “I was just thinking about the last time you and I saw one another,” Brandi announced herself as Audrey King Pierce
    looked up from her computer screen. “I seem to recall that I threatened to destroy you if you were to hurt my son. Does
    that sound familiar?”

    Audrey pulled off her glasses and done something she had ever rarely done in the last ten years when Brandi was in her
    presence – she smiled.

    “That sounds about right,” Audrey admitted with such ease. “But if memory serves, you and I had that same conversation
    countless other times as well.”

    “True enough,” Brandi admitted. “May I come in? I promise you I do come in peace."

    “All right then, come in and have a seat,” she gestured towards the sofa lounge as she stood up and made her way
    across the office. They both sat down at the same time and looked at one another with careful trepidation and a
    foreboding uneasiness.

    “I suppose I’d be remiss if I didn’t welcome you home and congratulate you on your parole,” Audrey broke the silence
    between them. “Justin is obviously thrilled to have you back and I’m sure the two of you are looking forward to either
    building a new life together or hopefully a divorce…” she smiled, “whatever best suits the situation.”

    Brandi arched an eyebrow and shook her head slightly, “It’s nice to see that some things never change Audrey.”

    “Oh well I wouldn’t say that,” Audrey told her. “Plenty of things have changed around here since you’ve been gone.
    However my quick wit and utter disdain for you is not one of them.”

    “Yes I see that,” she told her. “I know that you’re busy and that I am the last person you wanted to see today. However this
    morning while making my son French toast with cinnamon,” Brandi smiled, “it dawned on me that I never properly
    thanked you.”

    “Audrey…” Brandi called out.

    “Yes?”

    “I want you to take very good care of him for me,” Brandi told her as her lips began to tremble. “You promise me
    that you’ll take care of him because Nicholas is all he really has besides me and I have a feeling that you’re going
    to be part of Nicholas’s life for a long time to come.”

    “Well I’ll do my best Brandi…” Audrey told her, “but he’s just coming over for the night.”

    “I know, but…” she paused, “just take care of him okay. Because if you don’t…if you ever hurt my son…I will
    destroy you.”

    “Point taken,” Audrey told her as the elevator doors opened. “And so we’re clear Brandi…if you ever hurt my son, I’
    ll destroy you.”

    Brandi shook her head, “Point taken…”

    “Well those are words that I never thought I would hear you say,” Audrey told her in a soft tone. “You came to thank me?”

    “I did and believe me when I say that those are words I never thought I would say to you,” Brandi assured her. “You know
    when Justin and Brittany would come to visit they would tell me stories about Lewis and how good you were with him. But
    it wasn’t until this morning that it finally dawned on me how true their stories were.”

    Audrey looked away from Brandi and with a look of disbelief written all over her face said, “After all the crap that you and I
    put one another through for all those years...I just want you to know Brandi that I never held any of it against Lewis. So to
    hear you say all of these things to me...I just can't believe that I'm finally hearing you say these things."

    “It’s the truth Audrey and you know better than anyone that I’m straight shooter when it comes to my son,” Brandi’s voice
    cracked a little. “You know more about Lewis and his life than perhaps I’ll ever know. It kills me to know that you share
    with him moments and memories that I can only dream about and wish that I shared with him. But the facts are the
    facts…I am thankful and I will forever be grateful to you for doing what I couldn’t – give my son a strong, fierce and
    independent female role model in his life.”

    Audrey stood up from the sofa and walked across her office to the window that looked out to the garden. She found it hard
    to believe that this was the same woman that she had sparred with for so many years – her nemesis and now here she
    sat having a conversation they would most likely never have again.

    “Three Christmases ago Lewis ran away from home,” Audrey began. “It was right after Miranda and Savannah left for the
    airport to go back home. He was so upset that they had to leave and he lashed out by running away.”

    “Where did he go?” Brandi questioned.

    Audrey chuckled lightly and smiled, “Right out there,” she pointed to the gazebo in the center of the garden. “We looked
    everywhere for him and we weren’t able to find him anywhere. But for some reason I knew to come here and look…that’s
    when I knew in my heart…” she choked on her words and turned away from Brandi.

    When she turned back to Brandi there were tears in her eyes and Audrey confessed, “You and I were never destined to
    be best girlfriends. Instead we were rivals from the word go. It took me four years to truly understand what that
    conversation at Justin’s was truly about. You weren’t just asking me to take care of Lewis for a night. You were asking me
    to do for as long as you couldn’t. It took me a very long time to realize that, but when I did…when I figured out that you had
    entrusted to me, if only for a moment your son…” she paused and relived that moment, “well it was one of the best
    moments of my life.”

    Brandi bit her bottom lip and her own tears began to flow down her cheeks. Her eyes met with Audrey’s as she told her,
    “It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life and yet it was the smartest. You’ve built a remarkable relationship with
    my son and you should know that.”

    Audrey felt her knees begin to knock together and she smiled through her tears. “Well I certainly didn’t do it alone.
    Nicholas played his part to perfection,” she told her.

    “I never doubted that he wouldn’t.”

    “But you’re home now and I can only imagine that things will begin to change,” Audrey realized. “I just hope that as you
    begin to reacquaint yourself to your life here in River’s Edge that you allow me the opportunity to see Lewis from time to
    time.”

    Brandi shook her head, “You and I as you said are never going to be best girlfriends and I don’t think we’ll ever see eye-
    to-eye on anything in the near future. But I have no intentions, none at all Audrey of ever denying you a relationship with
    Lewis. I wouldn’t do that to him and I won’t do it you.”

    “Good,” she replied firmly, “because I intend to always be there for him. I never thought I would love a child of yours as
    much as I do…yet here we stand.”

    “Life is funny like that I suppose,” she stood from the couch and headed towards the door. “I think I’ve taken up enough of
    your time and I should probably be going.”

    “Okay,” Audrey released a heavy sigh. She had envisioned what her first conversation with Brandi would be like and never
    had she thought it would go like this.

    “Brandi,” she called to her. “I’m going to tell you something and regardless of whether you choose to believe it or not is
    up to you...I am glad, for my son and for Lewis, that you’re finally home.”

    She couldn’t help but smile at the thought of how far they had come over the last eleven years, “Thank you Audrey,” was
    all she could think to say.
Number Five
Hell Hath No Fury Like Pamela Bradshaw McCarty Scorned
Episode 155: Better Than Revenge

"The Travis/Pamela/Rhonda affair storyline first kicked off in 2009 when AON returned
from hiatus and it played heavily towards the original Andrew/Natasha/Valerie affair. To
see the revelation finally play out on screen was a beautiful thing from a writing
perspective. To finally see Pamela return to the leading lady that I always envisioned her
as was a great moment for me. Plus she laid it all out on the line when she confronted
her philandering husband and later his mistress!"
    “What did you say?” Travis questioned her. “Are you saying that Phillip had an affair?”

    “I am,” Pamela responded. “And when he did step out on me I didn’t have to hire a private investigator to find out about it.
    He came to me confessed his sins and begged that I take him back.”

    “So when I tell you that I’m sorry and admit that I screwed up why is it that you won’t believe me or accept my apologies?”

    “You’re not listening to what I’m saying Travis,” she said. “I’m saying that I don’t believe your sincerity."

    “Especially when you take into consideration that I had to learn about your affair through credit card statements, phone
    records, hotel receipts and a private investigator,” Pamela rattled off. “Phillip may have cheated on me, but he came to
    me and was man enough to own up to what he had done.”

    Travis paused for a moment and thought, “Here’s what I think is happening right now,” he began. “I think you’re too proud
    of a woman to admit that you drove me away…that you drove me into the arms of another woman. What I don’t
    understand is why I’m not afforded the same luxuries in our marriage that Phillip was afforded. Can you explain that to
    me Pamela?”

    “And before you do,” he pressed on as a thin chill hung on the edge of his words, “let me tell you why I think things are
    different now versus then…”

    He stepped towards her, his guns now fully and finally loaded to capacity, “I think you don’t want to give me a second
    chance Pamela. I think if you were to give me a second chance then you would have to do two things. The first, you would
    have to admit that I’m no better than Phillip and second you would have to make room on top of that pedestal that you’ve
    placed the great Phillip Bradshaw on for your entire life. A pedestal so high that no matter how hard anyone tries they
    can't live up to the God like image you’ve manifested for this man,” he continued. “I think everything that you’ve said
    tonight is nothing more than a performance on your part. You never loved me, because you never had time to. You were
    always far too busy comparing me to your dead husband and continually worshiping the ground Phillip Bradshaw ever
    walked on to care about me…”

    Pamela stepped towards him slowly. She had stood there listening to his sanctimonious, holier than thou sermon and
    when she had reached her boiling point Pamela reached back and slapped him across the face harder than she had
    ever slapped another man in her life.

    “You shut your mouth right now you miserable bastard,” she order him. “Or so help you God in Heaven…I will kill you
    where you stand!”

    Every inch of Pamela’s body shook as she stepped towards her husband. “Who in the hell do you think you are?” she
    questioned. “Don’t you dare say one more word about Phillip…in fact you should never, ever,” she screamed, “speak his
    name in my presence ever again or I promise you it will be the last words to ever come out of your mouth!”

    Pamela turned away from him and took a moment to try to compose herself. Suddenly everything had changed in an
    instance. “Phillip Bradshaw is the father of my children and I will not tolerate anyone, especially the likes of you speaking
    like that of him – not now and not ever! I maybe a lot of things, but the one thing that I am not is the woman who would
    dare ever speak of Grace or Vivian in same manner that you spoke of Phillip. Don’t you dare ever do that again,” she
    ordered him. “Do you understand me?”

    Travis knew a line had been crossed, but he didn’t regret what he had said – he felt it to be the truth and he’d made a
    career out of telling the truth. But nevertheless Pamela was right, she had never spoken that way of his ex-wives or the
    mothers of his children, so he replied in a hushed whisper, “I do.”

    “Good…then you need to go pack your things and get out,” she told him.

    “I’ve already told you that I’m not leaving Pamela. Besides I’m now curious to find out what’s made you angrier tonight -
    my affair with Rhonda Duncan or the fact that I’ve known since day one that there’s been three people in this marriage
    and not just two?”

    Pamela shook her head, “You just don’t know when to quit do you Travis?” she questioned. “I told you from the start of
    our relationship that I would always, always, love Phillip and that I would never change. And you’re right I did put that man
    on a pedestal. I worshiped the ground he walked upon, just as he worshiped the same ground that I too walked upon. I
    think you’re jealous that I never considered putting you on pedestal and I’m ashamed that you never did anything to
    warrant such a thought,” she sighed. “Phillip Bradshaw is today, yesterday and will forever be the great and only love of
    my life and you…well you were nothing more than idiotic mistake. If I could have traded places with Phillip and died
    instead him, I would have done that in heartbeat…in a second…without thinking…and Travis that is something I would
    never and will never consider doing for you for as long as we shall live,” she smiled.

    “We’re through…” Travis told her as he walked towards the foyer.

    “Oh you’re damn right we’re through,” she assured him. “I’m going to go deal with your little whore now,” Pamela
    followed behind him. “And when I return…” she spun him around to face her, “you will be gone and if you’re not then you’ll
    soon see the business end of my shotgun.”
Number Four
Ryan Shaves Josh's Hair
Episode 143: Testify to Love

"This was called by a reader as a powerful moment in Josh's battle with testicular
cancer and I couldn't have been happier. The relationship with Josh and Ryan is one
that I have loved exploring, especially this year as they slowly tried to come back
together. Their break-up was one of the most painful scenes I wrote and this scene was
one of the most emotional. I look forward to seeing where their stories take them, both
as individuals and as a couple."
    “Are you seriously still wearing your pajamas Joshua?” Ryan let himself into Josh’s apartment. “Dude it’s nearly noon.”

    Josh looked across the room and shook his head, “I love how you just come into my apartment without even knocking or
    ringing the doorbell. And for the record Ryan, I have cancer. So if I want to wear my pajamas all day, every day I can.”

    “Blah! Blah! Blah!” Ryan mocked him. “And since we’re apparently putting things on the record, you don’t have a doorbell
    and you gave me a key,” he held up his keychain. “Remember?”

    “I did do that didn’t I?” Josh questioned himself. “But it was only for emergencies – like making sure I didn’t die in my
    sleep,” he smiled.

    “Ha! Ha! You think you’re so funny don’t you?” Ryan rolled his eyes and made his way across the apartment.

    “Why are you here though?” Josh questioned. “It’s my dad’s turn to babysit me at chemo today, not yours.”

    “I brought you a strawberry-pineapple smoothie from that place you like by the campus,” he sat the smoothie down in
    front of his ex-boyfriend. “First of all Joshua, no one is babysitting you and your dad texted me about an hour ago.”

    “My dad texted you?” Josh laughed at the thought.

    “Yes he did,” Ryan shook his head at Josh. “Apparently something came up and he wanted to switch days with me.”

    “And because you and my dad are such good buddies you said yes?”

    Ryan cut his eyes at Josh and pointed to the smoothie, “Drink your damn smoothie and shut up,” he said as they both
    started to laugh.

    Josh watched from the dining room of the apartment as Ryan made his way into the kitchen. He watched as he began to
    rinse the dirty dishes and put them in the dishwater. Once Ryan had finished, he opened the refrigerator and surveyed
    the options for dinner once they returned that evening from Josh’s chemo.

    “What would I do with you?” Josh wondered out loud.

    “I don’t know,” Ryan answered with a smile. “What would you do without me Joshua?”

    “I’m being serious,” he responded. “You have been by my side this entire time and you certainly didn’t have to be.”

    Ryan made his way back into the dining room and walked over to Josh. He straddled Josh’s chair and slowly sat down
    on his lap.

    “Who says that I didn’t have to be? You were my first love,” Ryan told him. “There’s not much a person wouldn’t do for
    their first love.”

    “I’m trying to have a moment with you,” Josh laughed.

    “So am I…” Ryan ran his fingers through Josh’s hair and he winced at the gesture.

    “Oh you’re trying to have a moment,” Josh laughed and that laugh slowly turned into a small cough…that turned into a
    much bigger, much deeper cough.

    “Josh! Joshua are you okay?”

    Once he was able to catch a breath he mumbled, “Goddamn chemo…”

    Ryan couldn’t help stifle a smile at his choice of words. “Careful you’re starting to sound like me and my potty mouth.”

    Josh shook his head and took a drink of water. “I need you to do something for me Ryan,” he managed to speak before
    another round of coughing started.

    The plastic sheet crackled under Ryan’s feet as he walked into the bathroom where he found Josh sitting on a stool with
    his shirt off. The sight of Josh shirtless took him by surprise and if he had to guess he would say that since the chemo
    Josh had lost nearly forty pounds.

    On the counter by the sink Ryan picked up the scissors and looked over at Josh who was looking at the wall as opposed
    to the mirror.

    “Are you sure you want to do this?” he asked Josh.

    “Might as well,” he muttered uneasily. “It’s going to happen sooner or later.”

    Ryan held the scissors in one hand and with the other ran his fingers through Josh’s blonde curly hair and smiled. Josh
    closed his eyes tightly. Since he’d began chemo therapy he had been with either Ryan, his dad or his mom every single
    day and never once had they seen him cry. It was only in the comfort of his bed at night that he was allowed to feel sorry
    for himself. Today, right now, in this moment would be no different.

    As the curls slowly fell to the plastic sheet he asked, “How’s Brittany doing?”

    “Um…I guess she is somewhat better,” Ryan answered. “Ethan said she’s been roaming around the house a little more
    lately. We’re just taking it day by day,” he told him never once taking his eyes off his task.

    “How you doing up there?”

    Ryan said nothing. Rather he laid the scissors on the counter and turned on the clippers.

    Tears swelled in Josh’s eyes and he realized that Ryan was going to see him vulnerable. It wasn’t about him shaving his
    head, it was the fact that he to do it all – lose his hair, shave his head, countless rounds of chemo, the coughing, the
    nausea and in that moment it dawned on him – what was it all for? For weeks he put on this façade for everyone around
    him – but in this moment, the bitter reality of it all literally fell down around him and he realized…

    “What if I don’t beat this? Ryan…what if after all of this that I still have cancer…”

    Ryan stopped the clippers and squatted down in front of Josh. “Then we’ll deal with it,” he told him. “We’ll regroup and
    figure out what the next step will be.”

    Josh drew in a deep breath and bit his bottom lips as the tears he refused to cry burned his eyes.

    “Hey…you don’t have to be so damn strong when you’re with me Joshua,” Ryan told him. “If you want to cry then you
    cry…if you want to hit something then you hit something…but you don’t have to hold it together on my account.”

    “Yes I do,” Josh answered in a rush of words. “It’s not about who I’m with or what I’m doing – it’s a state of mind Ryan. I
    have to keep myself in one set state of mind...about all of this…because if for one second I let my guard down, just like I
    did just now…”

    Josh reached for the Kleenex box and wiped his face and plastered a smile back on his face. “All right are you about
    done?” he asked choosing to ignore the momentary lapse.

    Ryan stood up and turned the clippers back on, “Almost…” he answered. He didn’t understand what had just happened
    – Josh had went from one emotion to another and back again. It made no sense to him, but he supposed that it wasn’t
    supposed to make any sense to him and he was okay with that.
Number Three
Kendra Hires a Gentlemen Called She Calls "Jered"
Episode 154: Bless the Broken Road, Part V

"Since the 2009 return of the series it seems as though Kendra Logan Bradshaw has
been assigned permanently to the back burner in terms of storyline. The fact that she
lives halfway across the country in San Francisco hasn't helped matters either.
However, in Episode 154 readers were shocked to see this once upon a time good girl
making a very big girl choice. It was a moment that I hoped shocked readers and I look
forward to the journey we'll be going on with Kendra in 2013."
    As the sun slowly sank below the Pacific Ocean halfway across the country and the clock struck half past six in the
    evening, the doorbell of Kendra Logan Bradshaw’s home chimed.

    The former Mrs. Jered Bradshaw proceeded from the kitchen, into the living room and then foyer. She was wearing a red
    silk blouse that needed at least two more buttons buttoned, a tight fitted black leather skirt and a pair black stiletto high
    heels with fishnet stockings.

    She pulled open the door and smiled.

    Standing on the porch before was a man who happened to be the same age as her. He had short brown hair that was
    tousled about, dark green eyes.

    He was dressed just like she had told him to be earlier that day – black button down shirt with a white wife beater shirt
    underneath and jeans. Neither the man nor Kendra exchanged words as he made his way past her and into her living
    room.

    From the living room the mystery man slowly began to unbutton his shirt. Kendra closed the door and followed him into
    the house.

    He looked across at her and questioned, “You have the money?”

    “I do,” she pointed to the fireplace mantle. “And just like we agreed last time there’s a little extra…if you let me call you
    Jered…” Kendra told him as she slid her black leather skirt down her body and onto the floor.
Number Two
Josh Learns He Still Has Cancer
Episode 149: Desperately

"I selected this scene and this moment as the number two moment of 2012 because it
was Josh's cancer storyline and I was very proud where that story went this year. I also
selected it because it not only showcased Josh at his breaking point but solidified his
relationship with April. I truly put myself and my best friend in these roles and
thought...how would we react to this devastating news. I was very proud of where this
storyline went and excited to see where it will be going in the coming year."
    April rushed through the door of Dr. Monica Holloway’s office and immediately offered up an apology for running late.
    “There was a horrible accident on the freeway,” she slid into the seat next to Josh and smiled at him.

    “April this is my oncologist from Dallas, Dr. Preston Greene and this,” he smiled back at her, “is my best friend April
    Bradshaw.”

    She stood from the chair and extended her hand, “It’s a pleasure to meet you Dr. Greene. We certainly appreciate you
    coming down from Dallas to give us good news,” she reaffirmed her belief that he was there to give them such.

    “Well as I was just explaining to Dr. Marshall I was in town for a medical conference and the timing just worked out
    perfectly,” the doctor explained. “Are we waiting on anyone else?”

    Josh shook his head, leaned forward in his chair and in a controlled voice answered, “Nope. There’s no fanfare today,
    just me and April.”

    “All right then we’ll go ahead and get started. I had the lab run three independent tests. I had the result of each one
    analyzed and compared separately from one another in order to obtain an accurate diagnosis,” Dr. Greene explained.  

    April dropped her hand to the side of the chair and reached out for Josh’s. They had been through so much together over
    the last eleven years to the point where she wasn’t sure where she would be without him in her life.

    “Well we both have different reasons for not wanting to go back there,” Josh told her. “After Jillian died I just
    wanted to escape from River’s Edge, but now I feel like something is pulling me back.”

    “Just as long as you don’t try and convince me to go back,” she warned him. “Nothing and I do mean nothing
    good in my life has come from River’s Edge, Texas.”

    He scoffed at the thought, “April that’s not fair. Our friendship began there and that’s pretty good…” he smiled at
    her.

    Josh interlocked his hand with April’s and gave it a gentle squeeze. He too was thinking of their decade plus friendship.
    He closed his eyes and thought of all the good things that she had brought to his life. He knew that this was just one
    more trial, one more test that he had to overcome and he knew that he would overcome it with April by his side.

    “I’m very sorry Josh…but the test indicates that the chemotherapy didn’t have the results that we were hoping it would,”
    Dr. Greene said as Josh dropped April’s hand. “Unfortunately at this time…”

    “I still have cancer,” he questioned in a low, devastatingly tormented voice. “Three months…three months of fucking
    chemotherapy…and you’re telling me that I still have cancer?”

    “I’m sorry Josh,” the doctor told him, “but yes.”

    “I’m a doctor so I know that the cure rate for testicular cancer, when detected early is nearly one-hundred percent,” he
    stood up and paced the floor.

    “Is he right Dr. Greene?” April questioned. “If it’s curable then maybe the tests…were inaccurate.”

    “The percentage rate for a complete recovery decreases if not caught early enough,” the doctor explained. “Josh we
    talked about this when you first came to see me in Dallas.”

    “So you’re telling me because I didn’t catch it early enough that it’s my fault that I still have fucking cancer?” he
    questioned with a raise voice and headed out of the office. “I’m twenty-seven years old for Christ sake I’m not supposed
    to have cancer!”

    “Josh! Josh!” April called after him. “Excuse me doctor.”

    She left the office and then made her way down the hallway in pursuit of her friend. “Joshua Marshall…” she called out in
    an elevated whisper, “would you stop running away from me?”

    “Just leave me alone April!” he shouted down the hall at her, as he burst through the stairwell door.

    She eventually reached the stairwell and when she opened the door she found Josh leaned against the cement wall.
    The stairwell looked familiar to her and she realized it was the same color of the stairwell she hid out in when Jered was
    in the hospital years earlier.

    “You should come back and listen to what Dr. Greene has to say.”

    “Why?” he asked as her eyes met with his tear filled eyes. “I can count on one hand how many times I’ve cried about all of
    this,” Josh said to her. “And I don’t need to count how many times that I’ve question why me, because I’ve never done
    that. I don’t need to hear what the doctor has to say April, because I already know what he’s going to tell me and I’m not
    ready…” his voice caught in his throat at the thought of his next steps, “I’m not ready to deal with that.”

    He leaned back against the cold cement wall and slowly slid down the floor. Once he hit the floor, he lowered his head
    into hands and continued to cry. The slow realization set in that this fight, this battle against medicine wasn’t over yet…far
    from it.

    All April Bradshaw could think to do was to sit down next to him. She ran her hand over his back and then slowly pulled
    him closer to her. Indeed they had been through a lot in the last eleven years and this would be just one more test,
    another battle that they would have to overcome and win together.

    As she sat there holding him in her lap tears slowly began to formulate in her eyes and the only thing she could think to
    say was, “I’m right here…I’m right here…”
Number One
The Fallout of Nicholas and Natasha's Wedding Ceremony
Episode 140: Empire State of Mind, Part II

"Talk about a storyline and pairing that was not working - Nicholas and Natasha! Wow! I
can honestly say I'm not sure what I was thinking when I put these two together in 2009.
So when I relaunched in January 2012 I knew I had to put this storyline to bed! The
name switch was a classic soap staple (thank you One Life to Live, RIP) but it worked in
the moment. What happened afterwards I felt was true magic. It was Natasha finally
realizing she needed a change in her life. I loved every word of this scene!"
    Nicholas approached Natasha’s suite and lingered in the hallway before using the key she had given him upon their
    arrival and walking in.

    “Natasha…” he announced his arrival and said nothing else.

    Her visor veil laid on the king size bed and Natasha stood staring out the window. The suite overlooked Central Park and
    from the reflection of the window she could see him standing behind her. She pressed her hand against the cool glass
    and glared at him without even laying eyes on him once.

    “Natasha, I don’t even know where to start.”

    “Not here…don’t start here,” she warned him.

    “I don’t know how to even try to explain this to you.”

    “That’s good, because you shouldn’t know how to explain this to me Nicholas,” she said as she looked away from his
    reflection, smirking at the notion that he would even entertain the notion that his actions were explainable.

    “You do not get to put a single thing into context,” she told him. “And you certainly do not get to walk in here and try to
    explain yourself,” she turned from the window and met his eye.

    “I made a mistake,” he admitted. “One that I am deeply ashamed of and I’m here Natasha begging for your forgiveness,”
    Nicholas explained as she looked at him with contempt and in that moment hatred.

    “Justin and I were discussing Brandi’s parole hearing right before the wedding and how her released could impact
    Lewis…”

    “You’re blaming your children for your asinine mistake and absolute disregard for my feelings?”

    “Of course not Natasha,” he muttered uneasily. “I would never do that and you damn well know it.”

    “No actually I don’t. Because suddenly there is a long list of things that I thought you would never do that has somehow
    come to pass this evening,” her voice was laced with indignation and righteous anger, as only a Texas woman could
    project.

    He chose to ignore her below the belt jabs at him and pressed on with his explanation, “Justin and I were discussing
    Brandi’s parole hearing…”

    “Clearly you are in need of having your hearing checked Nicholas,” she stepped toward him. “Because I told you that you
    are not allowed to put this embarrassing fiasco into context to fit your agenda and I do not now, nor will I anytime in the
    future care to hear your explanations.”

    Natasha walked passed him towards the door and as she did she slid her engagement ring off her finger, toying with it
    in her hands.

    “You need to hear me out Natasha,” Nicholas continued. “Because I love you and I need you to please understand…”

    The ring fell to the floor – Natasha spun around to face him and without warning her hand smacked across his face so
    hard that he stumbled backwards, nearly losing his balance.

    “I am Natasha Garrett Bradshaw,” she roared the anger over it all finally set in, “and no man makes a fool of me the way
    you just did!”

    Her hands trembled as she took a step back away from Nicholas who stood holding his face.

    “You humiliated me,” her voice cracked.

    “And then show your face here begging and pleading for my forgiveness,” she lectured. “You of all people in this world
    Nicholas know the history between Brandi and me. I confided in you…” her voice continued to shake, “I told you things
    about myself, about my relationship with Brandi that I have never told another person about.”

    “I know that Natasha and that’s one of the reasons that I love you so much. We can make this work…we can work this
    out.”

    “No,” she shook her head. “You could have called me any other name up there tonight,” Natasha told him. “Hell you could
    have called me Audrey and maybe then we could work this out,” she mocked his tone, “but you called me Brandi…” she
    paused allowing the realization of his actions to sink in.

    “Brandi,” she repeated. “The name of the woman who is responsible for an accident that killed my son,” her voice
    cracked again.

    “I’m sorry,” he told her in a hushed whisper. “I am so sorry…”

    “You called me her name,” she repeated in a catatonic tone. “I, Nicholas, take you, Brandi…” she repeated for him, “that’s
    what you said.”

    Natasha turned away from him and bent down to retrieve her engagement ring.

    “And if there was any humor about this situation,” she spoke softly and calmly, “it’s the notion that you think I would still
    marry you after what you’ve done. You humiliated me in front of my daughters, in front of family, in front of my friends…”
    she paused and held out the ring to him.

    “I, Natasha, do not take you, Nicholas as my husband…” she recited to him.

    “You take your ring Nicholas…and you take your pathetic, pathetic self and you get the hell out,” she ordered him.
    “Because not only will I never marry you…I will never love you again and I will never, never forgive you for this,” she said
    turning her back on him for the final time.

    He took the ring from her hand and watched as she opened the door to her suite. Their wedding ruined…their happiness
    shattered and their relationship torn to a million little piece…
    Gregory Holloway        |        January 28, 1964       |        Series History: 2004-2006; 2010-Present